A Thimblesworth Of Milky Moon- The Singles Review, 23rd October 2006

The Horrors- Count In Fives
The NME love them, so i hate them by principle. It's a good job that the music's shit then. LET'S SCREAM OVER WHAT COULD HAVE ONCE BEEN A RELATIVELY DECENT RECORD AND RUIN IT AND SHOUT 'DIVIDE' RANDOMLY. IT WILL BE GOOD AND WILL BE BOUGHT BY ANYBODY WHO THINKS BOY KILL BOY ARE 'quite good' AND/OR HAS BEEN IN THE AUDIENCE OF A RUSSELL BRAND SHOW. Cunts.
3/10- Worst Single Of The Week

Panic! At The Disco- I Write Sins Not Tragedies...
I find emo tedious. The video for this song reveals a lot about the song itself. They hold accordions as if it means something. It doesn't, and it's just another way to seem different, to look like 'outsiders'. Fact is that there's probably more teens identify themselves as 'emo' than anything else. I mean absolutley no offense to anybody here (and it mostly applies to Americans), but in many cases, it's just a way for priveliged white kids to feel like they have problems and think Really Deep Thoughts. Which pretty much brings us back to the song. It's all surface. Which isn't a problem, but don't tell somebody you're a glacier, only to crack under their shoes.
5/10

Beyonce- Irreplaceable
I thought this song was about a prostitute when I heard the chorus. Considering it's a Beyonce ballad, I don't want to stick my fingers in my ears and scream, which happened when I first heard 'Girl' (yes, i'm aware that was Destiny's Child. Shut up). Anyway, it's not about a whore. Even though she's got a man coming straight round after the one in the song leaves.
7/10


The Magic Numbers- Take A Chance
I really wish this was an Abba cover. Not because the song's bad, just because any excuse for an Abba cover's a good thing. I like the Magic Numbers, but this could just be another track from their first album. Again, not that it's bad, it just sounds like a continuation rather than something new.
7/10

Girls Aloud- Somethin' Kinda Oooh
If you thought this was getting any less than full marks, you're reading completley the wrong blog. Starting with what i really really really hope is a sample 'Gonna Make You Sweat', it's just indescribably brilliant. Around their third best single (not as good as 'Love Machine' ot 'Biology', maybe better than 'Sound Of The Underground'). It blows the new Sugababes song, new All Saints song, and sod it, pretty much every song from the last three months out of the water. I don't care how much shit i'm going to get for this. You want to know why Girls Aloud have outlasted at least half of the NME endorsed haircut indie groups? Because their songs are better. So there.
10/10
SINGLE OF THE WEEK, OR OF ANY WEEK EVER.