They said no, no, no

Apologies for the death of blogging, but for reasons far too complicated to go into here (we got a Wii) there's not been much time in the last few days for this kind of thing.
Anyway, it being over a week since Sexy! No, No, No... was heard for the first time, it may be time to actually write something about the song. But that's boring, and anybody who's heard it will be able to tell you that it's amazing and the first proper 21st century pop song since SexyBack to sound like it belongs on the mental ward. Instead, we're going to take a look through what Youtube has to offer in terms of Sexy! No, NO, NOOOOOO!!!! videos. That's what the title SHOULD be, btw.



Right, first off, what the fuck is up with Tweedycole's hair? Get it sorted. As slick and professional as we've come to expect from GA, the first TV performance featured LOTS of finger wagging. In what world is that a bad thing?



Picture montage! It serves as a reminder that when Sharding doesn't ruin it by being a drunken slag, they're probably the most photogenic pop band around. LOL at 0:32 and 2:06.



With lyrics. Fucking hell, Miranda Cooper covers a broad range of topics doesn't she?

This was probably the most pointless blog post ever. Fab.

What a diss

For one reason or another, Song 4 Mut-a-ya has gone from being Song Of The Summer (back in February) to Not As Good As Umbrella, and now, back to Song Of The Summer. Listen, i don't give a crap about terrible videos, they could have played Triumph Of The Will over the top of it, because there is NOTHING like turning on the TV and hearing it.

I was going to put a picture of the lady herself looking fabulously trashy, but when digging through the internet, we discovered that Mut-a-ya's Myspace has a picture of a sideways dog.



At this point, we don't know whether Mut-a-ya bought this dog off John Barrowman, because it is sideways and all the normal dogs were laughing at it, or whether it is just a normal dog and Mut-a-ya needs a new camera. We also don't know the dog's name, perhaps it is Mut-a-l(Sniiiip!)

Anyway, i've decided to listen to all of Out Of Control Open Brackets, Song 4 Mut-a-ya, Close Brackets (Soundboy Rock version, cos it's longer) and list all the things that are AMAZING about it. This could take some time

00:00: The very first synth bits
00:03: The really exciting "do-do-do!" part
00:14: "Out of control"
00:15: OMGz IT'S MUYTA
All of the first vocal bit: The weird guitar(?) in the background
00:24: Oh thank god, she's starting to sing. The raop bits were good, but she's no Tweedycole
00:25: "I'm driving faaaast..."
The synth thing in the background of the second part
00:39: The 'dum dum' to the chorus
00:44: Backing vocal Mut-a-yas
00:57: The proper chorus kicks in and it's AMAZING TIMES 1000
01:38: This isn't getting any worse
01:56: "It's a sure fire way to ruin my day.."
02:04: "NOOOOO NOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
02:09: More bloody amazing synths
02:15: We're just about halfway through!
02:32: The "mmm" that leads into the third chorus
02:51: Whoop, blippy synthy bits
03:10 onwards: The whole bloody thing. In fact, the entire song could be described as 'fairly listenable', could it not?

Anyway, make this number one. And if you don't, make Robyn number one. Or buy the exact same amount of copies of each and make them both number one. Yes, that'll do nicely.

EDIT: Here's that picture. Do you want some? Well do you?


Sexy.

EIAMS Music Prize 2007: The nominees

There's some sort of other music prize nomination thing going on tomorrow. But ours is much better because it doesn't bother with nonsense like nationality because we are not racist like that. We also don't bother with whether the album has come out yet, because Galore is FUCKING amazing. Anyway, here's what they are. The winner will be announced when it becomes apparant which is the most amazing record. This will probably happen on a bus.

In no particular order:

Sophie Ellis-Bextor- Trip The Light Fantastic
LCD Soundsystem- Sound of Silver
Siobhan Donaghy- Ghosts
Joanna Newsom- Ys
Patrick Wolf- The Magic Position
Emily Haines- Knives Don’t Have Your Back
Bjork- Volta
Loney, Dear- Loney, Noir
Feist- The Reminder
Rihanna- Good Girl Gone Bad
Robyn- Robyn
Dragonette- Galore

M.I.A.'s new album cover is about as subtle as you would expect

Amazing, no?

I don't care, just drop it off

It's sort of embarassing being from the UK at the moment. We're lagging behind in the pop stakes at the moment, and for some reason, 2007's best stuff is coming out of the US. We've already had Rihanna stealing the summer (and good weather), Hilary Duff becoming the new Rachel Stevens, and now (Disney's own!??!?) Aly & AJ making one of the year's best pop albums. Obviously, the whole 'fags should burn' mentality is not something i would necessarily agree with, but i honestly couldn't give a fuck about their beliefs when they make something as brilliantly clever/stupid as The Potential Break-Up song. The whole album's pretty decent, and kind of gives you hope for the rest of Disney's teenpop brigade, even after Hannah fucking Montana.



New Girls Aloud logo. Hmm. Although Sexy! No, no, no can't come soon enough, frankly.

Countryfile: Volume one

I know what you're thinking. And it's not, as Nicola Roberts once said, my butt. You're thinking "Mr. Byron, why don't you dedicate more time to writing about country music?". My reply would be 'because most country music is shit'. But, as with any genre, there are always exceptions. However, the following songs are every bit as terrible as you might imagine. So grab your poundland cowboy hat and, erm, saddle up. Ew.

You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly



Ah, the old ones are literally the oldest ones. Yeah, the Youtube vid is a cover of the AMAZING and ANCIENT Loretta Lynn/Conway Twitty song. If you've not heard it, download it right now. It is the definitive song about not really liking somebody you're with (take that 'Kate Nash') and having ugly kids.

Big & Rich- Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)



Whoever said that country music was above smutty innuendo and chat up lines so unsubtle they make Rihanna's new album sound like mild suggestion was very wrong. It's like a bizzaro world Black Eyed Peas/

Trace Adkins- Honky Tonk Badonkadonk



This song is amazing on so many levels. It's basically what Tori Amos should have done instead of Big Wheel. It starts off sounding like the Seinfeld theme tune. It then goes on sounding like a filthy country song. And when you think you've figured out what's going on, there's A FUCKING HUGE EURO-HOUSE MIDDLE-8. It's obvious that they should just throw some sleigh bells over the top and release it as a Christmas song in December. The campaign for Christmas number one starts here....