Saturdays and Strange Ways

Somehow or other, The Saturdays have managed to overcome at least half a dozen reasons why they should have flopped and will be 'crashing' into the top 10 this weekend. Let's have a look at how this has been achieved, and why it shouldn't have, everything considered.

1) They are a manufactured girlband.
Bear in mind that there has not been a successful British 'traditional girl group' launch in half a decade. Also bear in mind that of the last three major UK girl groups to be launched, The Saturdays seem a bit too old fashioned and safe, compared to the Sugababes (sullen teenagers who looked like they'd rather be shoplifting Max Factor in Superdrug than having a pop career), The Spice Girls (council estate girls done good) or Girls Aloud (council estate girls done better). hair done perfectly, matching clothes, cute dance routines. I'm not saying Overload was a call to arms for a generation sick of identikit pop groups or owt, but there was some sense of rebellion there. For a better comparison, look at the video for Wannabe, then the video for If This Is Love. Wannabe sets it's stall out, and tells the viewer who their protagonists are, and why you should give a rat's ass. Admittedly, we're in more cynical times, and a video where five girls go around terrifying residents of a hotel would either be seen as a lazy attempt to connect to an easily manipulated audience or (if you're a Daily Mail reader) a terrifying snippet of violent youff culture, akin to Justice's Stress clip or something. Look at the If This Is Love video though. What to The Saturdays do? They get their hair and make-up done. They walk down a corridor like they're about to get kicked out of America's Next Top Model. They perform in a shop window for their adoring fans/unwashed masses. All you need is for Alexa cunting Chung to turn up, and the whole thing could just be a special section of Gok's Fashion Fix. Oh look, they got their whole outfits for under £50 each. Wannabe encouraged the viewer to take part, join a gang. Not a literal gang. I'm not making another Daily Mail reference this early in. If This Is Love tells them to keep on watching.

2. They supported Girls Aloud
OK, so we're on the same label as Girls Aloud. There's five of us, like Girls Aloud. How do we mark ourselves out from other existing girlbands? Supporting Girls Aloud, obviously.
Joking aside, the GA's track record for support-act success is not great. Poor Frank delivered a solid album with a few great songs that literally sold less than 1000 copies. Rogue Traders couldn't quite, ahem, trade in on having their biggest song used on the BBC's most successful drama. And Billiam have half a dozen fans who spend the week one of their singles comes out going around the country, buying it on their extended family's iTunes. The Saturdays used to the exposure as well as they could have had, getting people interested without street teaming them with all the subtlety of a North Korean firing squad. It's easier to get people to like if they don't think they're being forced into it.

3. The song is a 7/10, max.
Right, I appreciate that i'm saying this in a week that Kid Rock may get a number one single, but the track ain't all that. It's got a decent Yazoo sample, alright verses (not as bland as some would have you believe) and a fairly amazing chorus. But there's nothing remarkably interesting about it, and it doesn't quite have the pull that something like I Kissed A Girl does. I've accepted I Kissed A Girl now, btw. In the same way a terminal cancer patient accepts the last few weeks will be their last and just tries to get on with it. Anyway, back to The Saturdays. I'm fairly confident that if Girls Aloud released this, it would be one of their lowest selling singles. They wouldn't release it, the chorus sounds too needy. Maybe that's what The Saturdays' USP is. Needy electro-pop. Well, whatever. It's quite lovely to have a new pop band in the charts, and even lovelier that they aren't totally shit and incompetent. It's made me quite hopeful that Little Boots might just be rewarded the Queen of British Pop 2008 award that she so badly deserves. Just a little bit, anyway.

Oh, and by the way, if you wanted to know how The Saturdays managed to overcome every obstacle, here's the secret:


Simple as, right?